I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING NEGLIGENT OF THIS PAGE. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO
KEEP UP WITH QUESTIONS I GET VIA E-MAIL BUT AS OF TODAY 7/7/96 I WILL TRY
TO BE MORE DILIGENT TO POST HERE.
YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING, YES ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. THE BEST QUESTIONS, ACTUALLY
THE QUESTIONS WITH THE BEST ANSWERS WILL BE POSTED.
Q: >Hello Kenny :
> There was an article about you and your tour in the Saturday
>Toronto Star newspaper ! Are you aware of this article ? I was just
>wondering what is the special way to order from the soup nazi so that
>get fruit and a roll ?
Kramer Answers: Yes I read the article. By Steve Veale. Boy! He had some
great time on the tour, or was it the $2000 I paid him to write it (only
kidding). Seriously, there have been HUNDREDS of articles written about
me and Kramer's Reality Tour. I don't have a favorite but Steve's is among
the all time top five. Not just because it is such a good review (although
that did help form my opinion) but because it is really well written. Great
transitions, concise descriptions. Really colorful writing.
To order soup 1- Have your mind made up before you step up to the counter.
2- State the name of the soup you want (no conversation about ingredients)
present your money and step to the left within six seconds. Bred and fruit
are guaranteed. Any transgression of these rules will result in the withholding
of bread and fruit. If you ever get there do it as I have said and you'll
be OK. Good luck.
Incidentally Al the soup guy hates the N-word. Even though he is a total
prick it's not really fair to call him a Nazi. I've started a campaign to
change his name. From now on please refer to him as "Al, The Soup Rat
Q: Dear Kramer, I am a junior in college at UCLA. How can I meet Jerry?
Love your site. Ann B.
Kramer Answers: Ann, Find Shoshanna and kiss up, lull her into a false sense
of security and when she invites you home to meet Jerry sweep down on him
like the vulture you are. Good Luck. kk
Q: K-man, Is it true that you walk into rooms like a normal person?
Chuckles in D.C.
Kramer Answers: It be so my brother and I haven't had a public spasm since
the ninth grade when to win a fifty dollar bet, I threw a seizure all over
a table full of dishes in a diner . Thanks for asking. kk
Q: I was wondering if you really get as many women as the Kramer
on "Seinfeld". Do you really have sex without dating all the time?
If you do, you must tell me your secret. How do you get so many women? Please
write back. Joe W
Kramer Answers: Do I have "kavorca" the lure of the animal that
women find so exciting? The short answer is maybe just a little. As far
as sex without dating, it's no big secret. I have a really cool apartment
(with a Jacuzzi) and I love to cook (mostly vegetarian) also, I'm funny.
Women like guys with nice places that keep them laughing and well fed. In
fact most of the time they find guys like that irresistible. Try it. It
works for me. Good Luck. kk
Q: Do you happen to know how much concern Larry David takes
in keeping the character's reactions in line with past episodes?
Kramer Answers: None what so ever. This came up in a conversation I had
with him after Kramer was mugged for Elaine's armoir I asked him, wasn't
it out of character for Kramer to put his tail between his legs and let
the two sissy boys rip him off? He said, yes it was out of character but
the joke was the thing and that it was just so preposterous to have Kramer
back down that he had to go for the joke. kk